Do you lie in your sleep?
When you exhale, do the lies just tumble out?
Does a lie always inhabit the tip of your tongue?
Ready to run free at a moment’s notice?
Because it seems all I hear from you lately
Are lies
Lie after lie
Do you even know you’re telling them?
Or do you mean what you say in the moment and later contemplate on your words and decide otherwise?
Do you care that you hurt me?
With every word cutting deeper into the tough skin I thought I had formed
But then you come with your charm and your knife
And you cut
And cut
I don’t even notice the bleeding, lost in your eyes
Until you’re gone
Then I notice
I'm a fixer, a mender
I just make people feel better
I take their pain
and make it mine
I don't mind the rain
Here, take my sunshine
But then there was you
you handed me an umbrella
and that's when I knew
you'd take my heart and make it yours
and I'd let you
I'd never felt like this before
with no rain on my shoulders
I could look up at the world
with you by my side holding my hand
one look from you, I was more than a girl
Who knew it would end?
I suppose I did, but ignored it
you started off as a friend
Then I fell and didn't notice
until you caught me
You caught me
and held me
arms wrapped around
loving me
eyes looking
and finding
beaut
Where has all my time gone?
WHen did the hourglass get turned?
Suddenly our months are weeks
days I can count on my hands
When did time start running out?
Since when does the falling of sand
seem such a determining factor
all of sudden it's in my bed
it's in my hair
it's everywhere
I'm drowning in it
watching as the dunes around me grow,
the sand above me becomes a trickle
I almost can't wait for it to rise above my head
because then it's over
and this hurting in my chest will end
But it won't will it?
This pain will always be on the back burner
until maybe years go by
and this sand finally turns to glass
that I may glance at from time to t
I'm scared of being with people
but I'm more scared of being alone
because leave me to my thoughts
and breathing only gets harder
smiling is out of the question
and tears are practically guaranteed
I'm scared of what my life will be like
without you to say something funny
without you to hold my hand as I walk
without you to brush the hair from eyes
because I've given you a chunk of my life
and with it a piece of my heart
I'm scared of uncertainty
because sure I know where I'll be
but I don't know where I'm going
I have no idea what to do or how to do things
Shit, I don't even know who I'll become
The uncertainty of what's ahead eats at me
Slowly my eyes are opening
and seeing the beauty you see
My legs may not be model thin
But I've got strong calves and sexy thighs
and wide hips that give me curve
Clothing lines may protest their beauty
but it is beauty nonetheless
My eyes may seem a meer brown
but Lord do they hold a fire
rings of rich earthy tones
subtle greens if you dare to look
appearing average but in reality unique
My lips may not be luscious
nor plump nor large nor sexy
But these lips form words and kisses
they may be pinched by teeth when in deep thought
but these lips are wise and mine
still learning to love
some pieces of me
I'm not yet satisfied
This face of
Thoughts of our end circle my head
occasionally stopping
and drawing a tear
Oh,
the thought of our end
It pains me,
this knowledge
that it is inevitable
in your eyes
While I, the romantic that I am,
cling to the hope that we will remain
Why must things change
when things are lovely?
I have never been loved like this
I have never loved like this
and it scares me to think
how the world will seem
when it comes,
our inevitable end.
The word always holds so much
the promise of never-ending
Which, of course, is why
you've never said it
nor have I,
to be honest,
afraid that if I stated my heart's desire,
you would start and run
like a deer a
Friends are the people we choose
to join us on our journey
to console us when we cry
to love us when we fail
to accept us without question
Movie night sleepovers
Early morning confessions
Whispered gossip
Giggling over inside jokes
When my heart was broken
you picked up the shards
held me close
and put it back together piece by piece
When things were not right at home
and I just needed to get away
your doors were open
and your couch ready
I gave you my trust
the first person I opened up to
after years of shy and quiet
we were bonded by this magic of friendship
Years of ups and downs
Stress of school
Torment of divorce
Thick and thin
we
Can we make it to the sunrise?
Just let this all end
and before we know it
we can begin again
Please, let's make it to the sunrise
Let's forgive and forget
just live and let live
make it through the night
survive on til sunrise
love me til sunrise
hold me til sunrise
make it til the sunrise with me
When it's risen in the sky
You can leave me
just a kiss good-bye
to last me the day
Darling, will you come back
Can I see you again?
But I know
I'll be alone
with the sunrise
Wandering around
pacing
feels like
I'm missing
or that I've
lost or forgotten
something
vital
I can't
Think!
I can't
what is-
I can't even write
when you aren't here.
Writing is what I do
when I feel lost.
But now,
that doesn't work
Because I feel so lost without you.
Writing can't solve that.
These words in my head
that I try to form
into coherent lines
won't.
Nothing feels right
Nothing works right
without you.
Sleeplessness haunts me like a shadow at noon,
following so close it's almost hard to breathe.
Stumbling through the day hoping that soon
I'll be able to try again to get a few hours
Circles permanently drawn under my eyes
that no amount of makeup can cover
from having to force back all the lies
that my nightmares tell every night.
So many nights I'm woken by my tears
or the tossing and turning from
trying so hard to escape my fears
that return without fail at dusk.
Concentrate. Ignore. You can make deal.
Breathe. In and out. Everything is alright.
I promise you that it's not real.
You can do it. You can survive the night.